Redundant Words: Find the reduncies!

Redundant words are words that you don’t need.  Redundant words make sentences longer than necessary.

Common redundancies:

Almost all people who drive usually drive cars:

  • I drove a car to Umeda.  -----> I drove to Umeda.  
  • Can you drive a car? -----> Can you drive?

Don’t need o’clock + am/pm:

  • I ate dinner at 8 o’clock pm.  -----> I ate dinner at 8pm or I ate dinner at 8 o’clock.

Here is a short story I wrote.  Find the reduncies in my example!

I woke up at eight am in the morning.  Then, I went to Kansai Airport. I flew to Tokyo in a plane. After I arrived, I rented a rent a car at Narita Airport. The car was a black color.  I drove the car to Roppongi and I parked the car in a car park. I didn’t have much money, so I went to a bank.  I entered my pin number at an ATM machine and withdrew money.  Then, I went at a bar.  I ordered a grilled tuna fish sub sandwich and a glass of wine. I drank alcohol, so I couldn’t drive the car to the hotel.  I had to take the Tokyo underground subway to the hotel.  I arrived at the hotel at 12 midnight.

Here is a better version:

I woke up at eight am.  Then, I went to Kansai Airport.  I flew to Tokyo. After I arrived, I rented a car at Narita Airport.  The car was black.  I drove to Roppongi and I parked in a car park. I didn’t have much money, so I went to a bank.  I entered my pin at an ATM and withdrew money.  Then, I went at a bar.  I ordered a grilled tuna sub and a glass of wine. I drank, so I couldn’t drive to the hotel.  I had to take the Tokyo subway to the hotel.  I arrived at the hotel at midnight.

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